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Adopting Across Ethnic Lines
by Luke Frolich
http://www.tlcadoptions.com
Bringing a new baby or child into a family can be a
challenging choice, especially if the child is adopted.
Most parents will be stressed and full of self-doubt about
how the child will fit into the family -- will there be
family upheaval or personality conflicts, what adjustments
will be necessary for the family?
Unfortunately, biracial adoption is an adoption that
sometimes puts an extra level of stress on the family.
Most parents are concerned that any obvious physical or
cultural differences between the child and the rest of the
family will cause the adopted child to feel isolated and
removed from the family.
Experts in the field tend to believe that a biracial
adoption can go smoothly if certain guidelines are
followed. The responsibility for making the child feel
accepted falls to the new parents. Some of the things they
can do are let the child be active in certain cultural
activities or beliefs held by their original ancestors.
When possible, the family should incorporate elements from
both their culture and that of the child in their day-to-
day living. The family needs to take into consideration
that the child may behave or believe according to customs
from their family or country of origin.
There are many ways to include cultural elements in a
family situation. For instance, a Native American child
could enjoy an opportunity to visit a regional tribal
celebration. If at all possible, becoming acquainted with
another family of the same ethnic origin as your adopted
son or daughter can help the child better grasp some of the
cultural issues. Another option is to regularly frequent
restaurants where childhood foods are prepared, for
instance, an Asian child might enjoy visiting an Asian
restaurant.
It also helps for parents to preserve and respect their new
child~s culture. Learning phrases in the language,
celebrating holidays or special events, and visiting
museums or displays stemming from the culture of origin can
help an adopted child in a biracial situation feel special
and appreciated.
It will also take your child time to adjust to your
family's way of living. For instance, your adopted child
might come from a culture where stealing is admired because
it shows craftiness and physical dexterity. This may lead
him or her to try and impress you by taking something.
Rather than showing anger, you would need to explain that
this talent isn't valued in their new social structure.
Unfortunately, children that are obviously different from
the rest of their adoptive family may become the victims of
taunting or bullying at school or in your neighborhood. You
will need to spend time educating the children that come in
contact with your child. You should also plan to discuss
the situation with school personnel and develop a plan on
how to best solve the problems.
Biracial adoption can be incredible successful and bring
many benefits to parents and children. But the family has
to make an effort to plan for problems and address any
surprise issues and concerns that will undoubtedly arise
throughout the course of the child's life.
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